Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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