honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
