thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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