I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
