just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
