Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You were trust falling into bushes
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
as a side note pls kill me
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
