he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
