I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Randomize
