Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
