Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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