The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
