Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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