I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
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I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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