her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
