you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
