I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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