He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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