We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Randomize
