i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
