i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Will exercising make me less horny?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize