We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
