I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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