pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
