Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize