I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I can feel your judgement through the phone