So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
I'm going to Hell for sure
one two three fourrrrnication!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
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I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
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Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.