Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.