mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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