doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
