well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
