I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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