its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
