You're so nebulous sometimes
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
