I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
