Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
