you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
