Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
