I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
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