one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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