$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
