So drunk its hurt
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
