Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
