marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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