Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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