It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
you made out with another girl for some wings
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
