i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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