Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
