video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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