this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
