Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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