Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
