Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
