So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
