I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
porn star boner night. come get it.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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