No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
