no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
