So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She's not a foreskin expert like you
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
