he thought i was a dude.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
