I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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