She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
