I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
