It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
