this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Can I color on your dick again?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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