Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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