Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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