I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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